Starting secondary school is a big deal for both children and parents! It can be the source of a lot of anxiety and fears, with an overwhelming number of worries and thoughts going through their (and your!) mind.
Are they concerned about:
Making new friends or leaving their old friends behind?
How they’ll find their way around a big school?
Whether they’ll be able to cope with the work?
Having more than one teacher?
Whether they’ll fit in?
The list of fears and worries a child can have will be endless and can result in reduced resilience and increased frustration, anger and upset at home as the big day approaches.
Here are a few suggestions to help you prepare a child who is transitioning to secondary school:
1. Communication is key: Keep the conversation open, light and as frequent as it needs to be with your child. Encourage them to share their concerns, experiences, and achievements whenever they feel they need to.
Sharing stories of how you have been nervous when starting a new job, or your own school experience can help to normalise their feelings. Most children will believe that these feelings are only happening to them which can be incredibly isolating and scary, so help them out by letting them know they're not alone.
2. Listen to understand: As parents we want to ‘fix’ the issue so our child can be happy and move on, however, your child will never learn how to solve their own problems if you do it for them.
Resilience and confidence grow from coming up with responses to our own problems. So, listen to them and help them to come up with their own solutions, don’t listen to simply fix it (as hard as it is!) you’ll be doing them a favour in the long run!
3. Keep it real: Secondary school brings new challenges and increased academic demands that can be unsettling. Help your child set realistic expectations regarding their own academic performance.
As Theodore Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy” so encourage them to do their best while understanding that everyone has their own unique abilities and learning pace, and this is perfectly natural. We don’t all have to be good at the same things!
4. Encourage a growth mindset: Emphasise that mistakes and setbacks are part of the learning process. Encourage them to embrace challenges, believe in their abilities, and persist in the face of difficulties.
Remind them of how they felt about primary school at the beginning versus how they feel about it now. They’ve felt like this before and it turned out ok, it’s likely the same will happen again! And celebrate their successes, no matter how small. This will do wonders for their self-esteem!
Remember, every child's school experience is unique and so offering your child: patience, love, and encouragement will help them tackle this new chapter in their life.
If your child is worried about school and you've tried the above and feel like you’d like some professional support, please contact me on 07553 558818 or email: louisemolloytherapy@outlook.com and we can discuss how I can help you and your child.