Is your child experiencing intrusive thoughts which they can’t stop thinking about? Are these thoughts controlling their behaviour and stopping them from doing things that they enjoy?
Unfortunately, these thoughts get so ingrained in their minds that it becomes impossible for them to stop thinking about them, making them feel upset and increasing their anxiety. Their imagination runs wild and creates horrendous scenarios of things that ‘will’ 100% happen!
The only way they receive relief from these unpleasant thoughts and feelings is to do something specific. Things such as repeating a saying a certain number of times or physically checking something over and over again.
Intrusive thoughts can leave a child feeling out of control and in a permanent state of worry. A child can be so mentally and physically exhausted from performing their ‘rituals’ that it steals any happiness and joy there is to be had.
Top tips to help manage intrusive thoughts
If you know a young person experiencing intrusive thoughts:
Listen – Give them the time and space to tell you about the thoughts they are experiencing, and why it is worrying them. If they don’t want to talk, ask if they’d prefer to write it down.
Thoughts are not facts – Remind them that thoughts are not facts and most of the things we worry about do not happen.
Characterise the intrusive thoughts – Help them separate themselves from their thoughts by giving the thoughts a name or character. The more obscure the better! Making them laugh about the situation can really help to lighten the mood.
Create coping strategies – Work together to create a plan of action for when these intrusive thoughts start. Things such as:
Get the young person to talk back to the thoughts, to show it who’s boss! Give them permission to be rude to the thoughts as they are simply not welcome!
Get them to write the intrusive thoughts down and put them in a worry box. These can be talked through later or can be chucked straight in the bin if they do not bother them anymore!
Get them to do the opposite of what the thoughts want them to do. If they want the young person to do something 5 times, do it 3, or do something completely different to what is being asked. This will help them prove to themselves that the thoughts don’t have the control that they think they do.
Celebrate the wins! – Make sure to praise and celebrate every time they win a battle with their intrusive thoughts. Don’t let them get too disheartened if they have a wobble, they are only human after all, and we don’t get things right all of the time. Talk it through with them, learn if anything can be done differently next time. Most importantly keep them motivated to keep on going.
Conquering intrusive thoughts can take some time if it’s been part of a young person’s thought patterns for a while.
If you’ve tried the above and feel like you’d like some professional support, please call me on 07553 558818 or email: louisemolloytherapy@outlook.com and we can discuss how I can help you and your child.